...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
