Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
