We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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