You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Two words: nipple clamps
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