This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
