so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
