I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize