shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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