my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
MIDGETS
????
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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