I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
