what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
