I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
