ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
