This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
