dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
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imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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