Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
