yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize