she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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