I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
