you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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