I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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