doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
