My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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