THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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