she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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