Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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