So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
