feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize