Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
