The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
