May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Enjoy the penises
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
