using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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