i need an iv and a liver transplant
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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