U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
