just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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