My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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