drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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