My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We got so high we made milksteak
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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