i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
