...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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