with your own penis?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just had sex on a roof
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
