she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
