i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
