Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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