I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You took a bar mat shot.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
