So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think I sprained my soul last night
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize