I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wear drunk well.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
