ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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