she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
