your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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