dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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