he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
this will be a night to untag.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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