Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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