If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
