i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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