i just google imaged poop.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
