I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
