I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
