Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
