If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
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At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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