I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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